Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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