I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
