I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
