At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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