i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i think im in europe. pls send help
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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