member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
