I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize