Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
