would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
