Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
