The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
