you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
