If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Your penis caused this!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
