i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
