South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
