I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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