I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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