i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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