Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
