oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
