tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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