Please, let me fuck your mom
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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