Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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