My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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