That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
