I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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