Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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