My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
