Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
