Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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