I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
