i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
