a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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