I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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