Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
