He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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