Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize