Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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