He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
