Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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