Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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