I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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