I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
