I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
