I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize