he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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