help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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