You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
