I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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