kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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