More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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