we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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