I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
