Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
