But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
