Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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