I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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