i just google imaged poop.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize