i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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