Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
