yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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