It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
