Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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